Monday, November 15, 2010

Even If The Sky Is Falling Down

My family called 911 the other night and I was nearly carted off to some mental health institution.
Because I had taken three times the prescribed amount of anti-depressants-
in lieu of dinner that evening.

I was only trying to go to sleep.
So much hurts and aches and this swirling blackness is so overwhelming:
I wanted to make sure it was a good, long, deep sleep.
I don't think I wanted it all to go away. They asked me, of course, and I told them that, no, I was not trying to hurt myself.
Ironically it was the only way I knew of to help myself.
I promise. That's what I thought I was doing:
Being helpful.

1 comment:

eblen77 said...

I believe you, else you would have taken the whole bottle. Simple Here is a poem about pain that I wrote with which you may be able to empathize.

Fading

Darkness falls slowly
with it comes another night
fear of the pain that is coming
that falls on me like the darkness.

Light fades and the colors mute
the “Dance at Bougival” darkens
losing all detail and joy
the frame just an empty hole.

My life begins to fade
the sharp joy of the day is gone
emotions so electrifying
Spark, Short out, and dull.

It happens everyday
the routine is frightening
like steps on the stairs at night
fear slowly approaching.

The first pangs of discomfort
I feel them now beginning to build
it is coming and I can’t stop it.
Darkness hasn’t fallen, but it will soon be here.