Monday, January 25, 2010

The Day That I Worried That My Kid Brother Had Become Suddenly Uncool or How The Writer Nearly Flipped Her Sh***. A Story In Pictures.

I made a phone call to my brother today.
The connection is made and this soothing, female voice on the other end asks me to "wait while my party is reached."
And then some crappy what-might-be-known-as-R&B-in-some-loose-terms comes on and some woman/man? is whining in my ear.
And I'm all:

I'm hearing what-might-be-known-as-lyrics-in-some-loose-terms along the lines of, "oh baaaaaby (blah blah blah) and your boooooody" and "oh gurrrrrrl you've got me gooooooin'" and then back to "your boooooody" and probably something else further about her boooooty but I had already tuned out cause at that point it was,
Because really, can this be FOR REAL?

I mean, I know my brother. He's kickass. He owns. He's hip. He jives. He's down.
He does not use his cellphone to broadcast statements like, "I'M A TOTAL DOUCHE BAG AND REALLY PROUD OF THIS FACT SO WHO WANTS TO KNOW. GURL."

He just doesn't.

And then it happened. I'm working on keeping my blood pressure down and thinking of the Come To Jesus talk that I am about to have with the kid brother in question...
"Hi. You've reached Chelsea..."

Wrong number.
There is a God.

Chelsea was, I would say, roughly 14, 15 years old.
You know, of the generation that could run the world if the quadratic equation could be converted into text speech and sports shirts saying, "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?"
And sadly, apparently one of those that feels like boys singing songs about her "gurl booty" and her "boooooody" is so cool that she should use her cellphone as a small radio transmitter to let everyone know:
"I dig douche bags."

Needless to say, I was relieved.

Yes. Chelsea.
You are in my thoughts. I'm there for you, gurrl. Don't let your boo get you down. Be strong baby girl.

And change your ringtone. For crying out loud.

RE: the restored status of aforementioned kid brother:

Props for being you and not being lame and, you know, stuff.
Close call buddy.

but so HELP me!

if you EVER scare me like that or DREAM of being Chelsea's "boo" or or or!

Big Sis

Thursday, January 14, 2010

If You Have Not Seen Band Of Brothers, The First Paragraph Will Mean Nothing To You. Muh Bad.

I nearly thought I was going to lose my feet today when we headed outside to go sledding with the class.
I just kept thinking to myself, "At least I'm not in Bastogne." I was never in Bastogne and the closest I got was a crazy night in Brussels but that is not what matters right now - what matters is that I was Not In Bastogne so I feel that Never Having Been In Bastogne gets the job done.
I was not in Bastogne.
But I was still not in Spain. And that seems to be the focus of my thoughts lately - "the HELL did I not study Spanish for?"
Because really, this cold is for the birds.

Well, I have promised someone near and dear to my bleeding heart that I would post some more pictures of my side of the world so I am doling out some of the love from some of our better moments since classes started up again.

My music class with the movie stars themselves: Glasses with different amounts of water to produce a tone when struck with a spoon. Bam. A full octave. We DO-RE-MIed the nonsense out of this project.

The Sledding Sessions: We had to traipse over snow dune after snow dune in order to get to the park where we wanted to sled. Here is the group and my colleague (the one that is not a child) who repeats everything I ever say in the English language because he 1.) does not understand it so it must actually. sound. interesting. and 2.) lives to make my life a bit more complicated.
The girl in the pink is our little tomboy. She is clearly wearing the pants in this little relationship and he is clearly okay with it. She boasts loudly about how much she has eaten, punches harder than any of the boys within a 3o km radius, uses the word "dude" more than I do, and is absolutely adored by every single unsuspecting male that comes within 2 feet of her. She's a legend in her own right.

See what I mean?!?! Don't mess with momma.
If this is not the most perfect, ruddy-faced German under a fur cap that you have seen all day, then I'll buy you two of what you're drinking.

This picture really strikes me as some kind of ad for Gap Kids.
Or Mercedes Benz.No one can ever fully understand what this structure in this specific park means to me.

you asked for it.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My Heart My Weakness

I'm at that moment when my heart could just overflow.
I walk through this city and I can't feel my hands because of the bitter cold and yet I take no notice and hear nothing but the sound of the snow underneath my boots and the pounding inside my chest. When I finally come to a stop, I am sweating violently beneath my clothes and I am not sure if it is because I was running without knowing it or if my body was only overwhelmed with its own energy.

Everything stands in a grand juxtaposition of itself and tomorrow is always unforgiving.
I need that tall glass of cold water.

Save my money
For that plane ride
Horn of plenty
Heavy sunlight
Autumn's bounty
Bread and red wine
In a hurry
But there's so much time

I will wait for you
Growing love but like water
Time will always slip through
I will wait for you
But please come soon

The wind sounds angry
But my coat's kind
Wrapped in blankets
In the daylight
Winter's longing
Somewhere to close behind
In a hurry
But there's so much time

I will wait for you
Growing love but like water
Time will always slip through
I will wait for you

-Leap Year (Maria Taylor)