1.) One complete missed night of sleep.
1a.) Which, people, is the life of a student and, may I remind you, the life which I am looking to one day regain.
1b.) One fleeting realization of my own impending insanity (see 1a).
2.) One failed German language assessment test in an effort to start Master's studies at university this winter.
2a.) One complete and total lack of surprise considering the number of native speakers standing outside chain smoking and wringing their hands in sheer terror because they were wigging out about the difficulty of the test.
2b.) One admittedly ridiculous test but nothing more than a Test To Test How Well You Take Tests and a Test That Is Obviously Testing My Resolve To Try Again.
3.) One weeping mother.
3a.) One reason being that I called the aforementioned mother in tears and gave her the news surrounding the aforementioned test,
3b.) but really the main one reason being that, upon her mentioning that I should consider looking for a job overseas from the comfort of the family home in Virginia, I might have maybe did it is possible let's not rule out the likelihood that I went mildly BERSERK.
4.) One apology to aforementioned mother for being a total assclown.
4a.) One "Aw hey it's cool" exchanged between mother and daughter.
5.) One *sharp intake of breath* followed quickly by one "Hate to tell you this" in regards to the job that I wanted with a fashion company in Berlin due to one missing work visa or (translation) one that never existed.
6.) One invitation to come to Berlin and be assessed for an English Teaching Position over the weekend.
6a.) One writer of this blog that might have maybe did it is possible let's not rule out the likelihood that she went mildly BERSERK.
6b.) One lack of Raised Hopes which was quickly replaced with one Warm Blanket Of Cynicism in regards to No. 6 as a result of having already experienced Nos. 2 and 5.
7.) One conversation with a friend in which the writer of this blog was reminded of the best punching bag for her frustrations, excluding all of the following:
- mothers that are trying to be helpful
- toddlers that are trying to be helpful
- friends that are trying to be helpful
- random neighbours that are trying to be helpful
- anyone not included in this list that is trying to be helpful
7a.) One sweet sweet sigh of relief because it. really. could have. gotten. bad.